Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we're so committed to being not committed
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