I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
