sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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