Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize