votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize