I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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