We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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