hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
