I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
