called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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