so that wasnt chicken after all
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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