Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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