he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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