I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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