"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
