At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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