Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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