If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
