She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
