There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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