Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
