my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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