There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
