they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
