I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
