How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
