Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
