Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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