So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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