smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
