she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
