is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize