I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
