Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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