what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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