I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
