I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
