I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
