i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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