Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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