hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
