Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
