so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize