I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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