I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
