Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The uberlube is also flammable
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
