its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
