There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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