is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
