I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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