Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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