Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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