I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
