I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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