Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
