He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
