??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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