Grow some girl-balls and come out already
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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