i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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