I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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