i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
