im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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