I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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