from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
