I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
