think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize