I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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