Your mouth is God's brothel.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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