You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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