You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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