but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
