i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
